The smile farts

Have you ever wondered why chubby people smile so much? Well that being if they are hip and know fashion because angry chubby people are bad news. Its because they are built like woopy cushions and have what is called the smile farts. I know this because i was diagnosed with this in 2004. For many years i have suffered with trying not to smile because one i will pass gas and the other is i have gapped teeth and when i smile and walk it ends up whistling like a hot tea kettle.

Recently lester one of my sisters has found it funny to poke me in my belly button. Another bad idea for several reasons.... 1. I keep a baby badger in my button for protection. 2. it hurts. 3 its possible for self combustion 4. Gas is more than likely to pass upon the simple belly poke. 5. plain and simple may lose some appendages.

Luckily all that happened was number 4. But un lucky for casey he is now covered in ace bandage and neosporin. This story has changed many lives and has done bad things to good people so please dont poke the chubby people.

Other rules you may want to follow if your not used to being around chubby people..
1. Never talk about food unless you want to become food your self. 2. never try to steal a fat mans food .. your arm maybe become the meal. 3. If you see a bald man with a chin strap and whistling teeth and the smile farts please do not offer food... same apply's to bears with this guy ... he may just eat you!

The Book

The days change as quick as the turn of a page. Lifes a book and its up to you write the chapter of a new day. You can take the comfortable way or the path less traveled. Fill the pages with the knowledge of the roads you have traveled. Becoming stronger from the things you have learned. Noticing your misfortunes and turning them into something great, only you have the power to change your dreams of yesterday.

Cabin Days

Well this weekend i headed out to the cabin for what is called memorial day weekend. But i work monday and chris had to come back early sunday so i only stayed till sunday morning :( The day started off a lil wierd on friday... casey and lester had stuff to do and i was told that we were leaving late that evening. but instead we left at noon. This didnt go well because i needed to check my balance and get some of my favorite chaw for fishing! But i did not get my chaw very say and yes i cried. So i was kind of in a grumpy mood and went and bought my self some Mountain Dew cause it makes everything better.

Casey wanted to go out in the boat ( the tin boat) and i do not like this boat lol. So he said get in the front and i was like ugh no it will tip and he said no it wont. I get in the front and say its going to tip and what happens.... It TIPS! he laughs his ass off. I am latching onto the dock with one hand and rack my knee on the side of the boat. Than a few minutes later after checking if my celly still worked i tried to put it back into my pocket and i miss and it falls off the dock and into the lake! So we will just say friday was not my day.

Saturday was a blast casey , alyssa, and me got the dock into the water with ease. And than we began our fishing and sun bathing or as i like to call me whale watching. Chris showed up around noon and we did alot of fishing. We all went out in the boat which of coarse i did not enjoy. Casey caught a fish the night before but this night was mine. Casey tells me hey look heres one and he over casts..... And i say watch this and two jigs later BOOOOM! i hooked em and brought him in. Casey went flying to grab the net and burned his knee sliding onto the dock. It was a 3 pound 20 inch rainbow. He was spraying sperm all over he got it on elsie's head caseys face, and my face.

I gutted it and brought it back to my mom for cooking. That night we went up to the lodge listened to live music had a few shots and drinks went back to the cabin had a bon fire and had a few more drinks. Everyone else watched step up 2 while i do what i do pass out lol. It was a great weekend and i always love being out there and seeing everyone. I cant wait to do it again.

Paintball Gallore

So Two weeks ago when my Mum, Casey and I ventured to Utah we went paintballing for his B-day. He was soooo incredibly stoked and i litterally wanted to shit my pants cause of the sound of the paintballs hitting the walls and bunkers. I was also a lil nervous because when i was in 9th grade i went and what happened? The first time i got hit was a direct hit to the what i like to call the genti's! Not so pleasant it was also november and the balls were freezing. The next i went was in 2003 in a field behind my old bro- in laws house. I was wearing full carhart bibs, jeans and long johns.... i got shot on the inner thigh and that also left a bad bruise lol.

This time it was indoors and a shit ton of fun let me tell you. Bet you have never seen a chubby man thats out of shape running and leaping like a gazelle being chased. I was ducking i was diving i was also weazing and the young guys there were looking at me funy. Probably cause i could not speak and was gasping for air. Fist time i got shot was in the left shoulder area... the next the left middle finger, then the mask which doesnt hurt at all :P And than one game in the boob and another in the boob chest and leg. And none of them popped on that one but it was like 3 on 1 so i just called myself out. No need for extra punishment on me. I had a blast the shots that hurt the worst was the middle finger and the boob. I got shot when i had slid and slid to far and out of the bunker and boom right on the right moob (man boob). I grabbed it like you would have thought i had actually been shot lol. Casey enjoyed watching the chubby man run. But i DID WORK and tore some people up i was always one of the last people left in the game.

They had a chrono our markers at 270 which we were shooting at 270 feet per second. But i had a blast and cant wait to do it again. I think i found one of my new favorite sports and cant wait till i can get all the new paintball gear. But here are some pics of that day. No action pics cause the net they had up wouldnt let u get it a pic they all came out really dark. And sorry one of them is sideways lol.

Scars

The scars i carry are my souveniers from the past,
Reminding me where i was, and who I am
Coming into my own and doing it my way
I can feel the strength that i have gained from my short comings in the past
I wont forget because it will keep me on my path
Its just a simple reminder to always push forward and never look back.

Salty Puddle Quik Trip

Well i am finally back. About a week or so ago i helped move casey back from ronan we had a good time. Moving heavy stuff with me is never easy the reason being i make people laugh and shit tends to drop. And since i am generally the one going backwards down the stairs i tend to end up squished or dropping the stuff myself. So we got him back to Kalispell and than last friday casey, my mom and i took off for utah to move alyssa back and watch her college graduation.

We went paintballing for casey's b-day on saturday which was fun as hell but i was scared shitless until i saw how many pre-teenagers were there getting pellted as well and told my self to man up you pussy! I did pretty good and even was running around sweating horribly and sounded like a screaming midget when i was weazing for air. I got shot in my Moob.... Man Boob. That left a pretty nasty mark on my body. Than we loaded up and headed to loagan and visited with my sisters family. And sunday morning left for montana. It was a fast trip and fun i didnt get to see all the people i would have liked to. so hopefully take another trip sometime in the near future and see the rest of my friends. i am glad lester is home and now we just have to work on getting brittany and danny here :P