Well today marks the six year anniversary of my grandmas passing. I thought it would be good to remember her or talk about her since she has been on my mind. Grandma Abney well what can i say? She was a tiny women who gave birth to my aunt, my father and uncle. She left this world to and returned to heaven on August 18th 2003, brittany's b-day. Sorry for britt bad things always happen on her b-day but they will get better.
She was an amazing women, she was very strong willed and could be very stubborn but you would have to be if you knew my grandpa. Growing up i never really felt close to my dad's parents but they were always around i guess i felt that way because we did not get the materialistic thing from them that you want as a kid. Growing up and seeing how things were and what i did and what i could have done differently come at the speed of light. I seem to think about everything now days and try to better myself from these expiriences. Tonight i was thinking about her. And what we had been through together and as a family.
In my teens in highschool i lived with her, Well my sister Brittany and I. I will be the first to tell you i was a pain in the ass. I can see myself as a unapprciative punk teenager and know that i was not easy to deal with. I remember being so angry that she made me go to school on several occasions when i was sick and puking all night. But i realize now it was because she was trying to get me to toughen up and be the man that she wanted me to be. The pain or sickness was nothing remotely close to what she had endured or was enduring at that time. She was very very sick and i was so angry about everything in life. If i could tell her today i would tell her thanks. She played a big part in bringing me up even though i did not see it at the time. She took me to church kept food on the table and made sure i was taken care of all just because i wanted to play football in washington.
She sacraficed alot for me and over the years that has become clearer. I wish i would have appreciated it more than as i do now. But i guess thats all in part of growing up and becoming a man. I dont ever really remember or recall her ever saying i love you to me as a kid. I am sure she did but i never paid attention to that stuff like i do now. I remember her playing piano for my dad in the "White Room" and i always enjoyed that they would sing and she played it so beautifully. She was very musically talented. And was an amazing cook.
I was not there for her funeral but i did get to see her before she passed. We had a family reunion for her like she always wanted. I really think we need to have one again in her honor. Family is important and Family was a huge importance to her. I remember seeing her on that bed and my dad says Garrett is here... and she started to cry. It was the first time i had really seen her show any emotion and it made my heart sink. I wished on my life that i could have done something for her but it was just her time to leave us. I held her hand and she said she was proud of me. I remember telling her i love her for what i think was probably my first time and giving her a kiss on the forehead. I watched the tears stream down her face. I never showed it much when i was lil or when i was a teenager but i loved that women. She was family and had done so much for me and it was so hard to see her in that state.
I remember living in utah and finding out she was sick and going to my room and crying and praying for her to live a long life that we needed her. And she lived for many years after that. I feel like that prayer was answered but at that time it was her place to go back and be with our father in heaven. I wish she could be around to see me have kids and to see me grow as a man. But i know she is watching down on me from heaven. The people i have lost close to me i still feel stronger and stronger everyday like they are helping me push and pave my way to becoming the man that i need to be. Grandma was a beautiful loving women and i miss her so much and wish i could tell her thank you for everything.
I just want to say that every passing day i appreciate my family more and more.... Its amazing how important family is cause its the only real thing you have in this life. Dont hide the feelings let your family know you love them because everyone deserves to hear that. My family is all over the place but plays a very pivotal part in my life even if we dont get to see or talk as much as we should or need to. I love you grandma, you will live forever in all our hearts and memories.
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